“And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.” ~John Steinbeck
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about love, commitment and timing. How is it possible that anyone ever gets married/finds their life partner in the first place? <Insert bewildered face here.>
(I will then turn to this letter by John Steinbeck. It’s beautifully reassuring.)
How do two people who are meant to be together a) find each other (hard) b) meet at the ‘right’ time (very hard) and c) end up blending and amalgamating their lives so that both are happy and not compromising too much for each other? (extremely hard).
In order for any relationship to exist, I’m concluding that people must compromise to a certain extent. What are we willing to give up (or not)? To change? To abandon? To shift?
In my previous relationship experiences, I have been keen to do ‘whatever it takes’ to make them work, which results in me giving up some of my power and identity. This may or may not be a part of why the relationship ultimately falls apart, but is a pattern I’ve noticed as I’ve looked back.
These days I feel the need to hold on a bit more tightly. I want someone to figure the big life stuff out with me, not in competition with me.
I suppose this is the point where I return to the comment that I started this post off with – not worrying about losing someone or something based on who I am and how I want to live out my personal legend. I should be more worried about losing myself.