A blog post titled Don’t date a girl who travels has gone viral and was all over my Facebook news feed. I could relate to the remarkable and beautiful woman being described, however, the piece was somewhat bothersome. I read a response or two but they did not address my uneasiness. I’ve therefore slowly worked out my own rebuttal.
The post states, “And if you unintentionally fall in love with one [a girl who travels], don’t you dare keep her. Let her go.” I disagree.
This statement implies that a girl who travels is not only unattainable, but unlovable. Why is strength, open-mindedness and determination associated with singleness? As a woman who has spent the majority of her adult life in various cities, I believe these are my greatest assets. I continue to protest against the labels ‘traveller’, ‘wanderer’, ‘lost soul’ and ‘gypsy’ as much as I embrace them. There is more to the story.
A girl who travels would make a great life partner. Do not let her go. Here’s why.
A girl who travels may be unconventional, sure. She may not be as won over with the ‘ordinary’ but she appreciates a gesture no matter what size. She sees past an action to the intention and is grateful for the effort, regardless. She values each moment and adores thoughtfulness. She likes to feel special because as she moves through life on her own, she doesn’t always feel that way. Travel can be an invisible experience without any witnesses.
A girl who travels may be independent, sure. She knows how to fix and build stuff and survive alone in most situations, no matter how foreign. This doesn’t mean she will always refuse help, however. Being unwillingly rescued is different from equal and mutual partnership. A girl who travels knows the value of sharing a good meal, watching a gorgeous sunset in tandem, or sharing a laugh when things go awry. Companionship is not weakness. It’s often empowering.
A girl who travels may be opinionated, sure. She’s had to use her voice to argue for her place when she clearly did not belong. She’s had to stick up for herself many times. She’s seen injustices and experienced them herself. Having said this, she will push you with her vulnerability. She will be bold and blunt and this is refreshing. She won’t hide her thoughts and feelings because she can’t hide anything – even her wounds and fears. What you see is what you get.
A girl who travels may be uncertain, sure. She’s seen what the world has to offer and understands the endless possibilities. She won’t settle for anything less that what her heart says is meant for her and this includes love. When she says she is committed to you she really is – she trusts her instincts and knows when something is right (or isn’t). Her vast experience informs her choices and therefore she doesn’t choose lightly. You will also benefit from her uncertainty as she will expose your rigidity and move you beyond simply living. She lavishes in the in-between.
A girl who travels is not always fancy, sure. She may get uncomfortable in situations where she has to dress up or conform to a standard that has been set by society as ‘acceptable’. She may not live in excess and likes simplicity. We are all cut from the same mould, however, and natural is what we wake up to in the morning. We must share our humanity with our partners, whether in sickness, health, birth, death, happiness, sadness. A girl who travels knows that what matters is connection and honesty. Trends, looks and wealth will fade.
A girl who travels has minimal regrets and won’t look back and say, “I wish I’d….” because she’s done it. You won’t catch her wondering about much, she is secure and confident.
A girl who travels is a nurturer. The world is her child.
A girl who travels will continually want to be challenged and this is healthy for any relationship – to grow as individuals and together. She won’t be capable of holding you back.
A girl who travels will show you parts of the world you’ve never seen through her stories, music, collections and mannerisms.
Most importantly, a girl who travels knows and loves herself. She hears with her heart. She has to. And before any girl can truly love another, she has to be happy with who she is first.
Don’t you dare let her escape. Keep this one close.