Today, rain-soaked green grass is below me. I am planted solidly in peaceful North America and the quiet is welcome. Above me, a bright, blue sky shines down, forcing me to look at my present inner experience.
Straight ahead, I see summer months that will gracefully add more wisdom to my heart and head. My vision is to be more and do more. I feel excited, downright terrified and my stronger pulse is near bursting.
I am grateful. I could not have done this bold Indian expedition last year; I was far too unbalanced by the overwhelming feeling of loss. It is with some relief that I acknowledge the growth and where I am today.
It can be hard to stop and to honour where you are in this wild journey called life. Especially when certain societal reminders around you feel like a weight to bear, a pressure that makes you want to buckle, or an expectation you haven’t quite met. There’s your own hopes of where you’d be by now, along with others’ hopes for you. In some ways, I’ve missed the mark. In others, I’ve gone way beyond.
It’s not always easy understanding how powerful yet frightening aloneness and unusualness is. (But then if I wasn’t scared, I wouldn’t be daring, right?)
Within these last few weeks I’ve felt moments of sadness creeping in. I’m trying to accept this without judging myself. The path to wellness is never straight. A vivid memory of the last time I was hugged tightly, many unanswered questions about an uncertain future, and the ever-so-slowly opening up of my locked-up heart. It’s incredible how gentle I have to be with myself, even now. But within the healing, I am carving out an amazing place to dance in. Tears and all.
Stand tall in your truth. Let go of fear. Be proud of how you’ve arrived to this moment, this day, this place, this year. It’s your story and it’s unique.