Presence

I’m being faced with the ultimate test of being present as I catch my mind wandering often. Back to Kingston. Ahead to India. And even further ahead to Ottawa. What I really need to do is enjoy the now. This is becoming the “Summer of Brianna”. Mostly independent days for an entire summer is a rare occurrence in someone’s life. It’s like a maternity leave without the baby.

In these moments of space and genuine curiosity for the world around me, I am looking at my former home through the eyes of a tourist, appreciating what is here as if it were brand new. This helps bring me back to what is right in front of me. I’ve spent the last few weeks enjoying friends and sights in both Calgary and Vancouver. My apologies for being absent here – I’m taking my mission to be completely focused on life in the moment quite seriously.

What have I felt? Fearlessness. My heart is as open as it has ever been. I wonder what, and who, will enter its spacious doors.

What have I noticed? So much quiet. Lots of road. Mountains & trees. Laughs. The happy smiles of others in making connection again. There are days of fighting off the obvious distractions – where I used to be, live and love (slowly allowing myself to view and interact with these spaces) but for the most part, I’m moving through without a haunted heart. This is what I’ve treasured most so far.

1. Hockey – Yes, it’s that time of year again. Playoffs. And I’m right back into the action. (For the record, my round one picks are: Pittsburgh, Boston, Ottawa, New York (Rangers), San Jose, Anaheim, St. Louis and Chicago.)

2. Running – Ahhhhhhh. Running without having to look over my shoulder. Running with an iPod that likely won’t get nicked. Running without humidity. Running and no honking. Running for Boston.

3. Spring birthing – Lots of signs of life around here. It’s nice to see a season unfold. I’m blossoming at the same exact time.

4. My nephew – He is simply the best kid ever. I know all proud aunts probably say the same thing but he truly is a gem. We had so much fun together going for walks, making cookies, napping, reading books, playing soccer and enjoying the beach, timbits and slurpees.

5. Nature – No, it’s not palm trees, white sand beaches, or blue mountains. However, it’s just as lovely and peaceful in this part of the world.

6. Friends – I’m so lucky. I have amazing people in my life who continually challenge, support and inspire me.

7. Patio pints – Summer has arrived.

8. Long days and long drives – I forgot how awesome it was to watch the sun go down so late in the evening. It’s also incredibly freeing and amazing to hop in the car, blast the tunes and just drive aimlessly. Simplicity. Ease. Space. Time. Love. Life. Breath.

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