At the top of the dome of the U.S. Capitol in Washington, DC is the Statue of Freedom. She faces east and towards the rising sun. She also looks out at the Atlantic Ocean, on guard and ready for enemy attack. She is the tallest standing structure in Washington, and no buildings in the city can be taller than her by law. She is a proud, free, strong, feminine warrior. And she is in charge. Viewing her at a distance made me realize something: I am free too. I’ve found brand new kind of free.
I’m not sure I can locate an exact moment or pinpoint a day when this shift occurred but all I know is that I don’t care so much anymore about the terrible crash. The darkness has given way to light. The pain is no longer acute. The wreckage has been cleared. Nine whole months of tight breathing, loose crying, inquisitive questioning, gut-wrenching wounding and guarded step-taking have served me well. My best friend along the way has been time. I just feel happy without even trying to feel happy. I am leading with love (and from my newly decorated wrist).
This is an emotional time and transformation and I thank myself for being courageous enough to search out this new freedom. I am remembering how to use my beating heart and opening up my mind. I believe it’s called healing. I know now that I can cherished not only by other human beings, but more importantly, by my own eyes too. I am beginning to see things differently.
(This post is dedicated to my friend Kate who has been my witness and rock throughout the last 6 months. She also loves Washington. Thank you.)